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SET OUT TO ENJOY YOUR WEDDING RIGHT FROM THE START.

IT WILL BE ONE OF THE HIGHLIGHTS OF YOUR LIFE AND OUR AIM IS TO MAKE YOUR DAY ONE TO BE REMEMBERED FOREVER!

The secret to a successful wedding day is early and careful planning.  Ideally the longer in advance you have to plan, the less stressful and better it will be for you to get everything organized.  Give yourself at least 3 to 4 months to get everything done, although we find that in that in the last 3 to 4 years it has become necessary to book your venue and photographers well in advance.

Finances play the pivotal role in organizing any major event, and weddings are no exception.  A good idea would be to get the family (parents from both sides) together for a family conference to discuss the various aspects of you wedding.  Unlike in the past, where it was expected that the bride’s parents pay for the occasion, nowadays the groom’s parents also tend to be willing enough to contribute something.  Issues such as what form your wedding should take, the reception, the number of guests and other ideas as how to make the day a day filled with fond memories and not financial pangs.

If you will be sticking to the customary methods where the parents will pay for the wedding, the most important thing to remember is not to spend more than what your parents can afford.  By taking your time and shopping around, you can organize the whole do on a shoestring!

The following guidelines are based on the “traditional Christian (Western) wedding”.

TRADITIONALLY WHO DOES WHAT?

First things first, you will need to decide on a wedding day. Obviously the longer in advance you have the better chance you will have not to have obligation conflicts with other events fore organized with any of the close family members who you would dearly love to be present on the day.  You will also need to decide whether you will be getting married in a church, using the courts or making use of the venues facilities  (either indoor or outdoor) and having the minister/priest/pastor conduct the service there.

A guest list will need to be drawn up, and remember to include the parents and in laws in this. Gift lists can also be compiled during the months of preparation to give your guests a good idea of the type of household items you will need to begin your lives together.  There are also certain stores that allow a gift registry to be signed up with them.

Years ago there were traditional expectations or duties required of your entourage (best man, maid of honour, bridesmaids etc).

Bride :  It is usually expected of the bride to choose her wedding theme and colour scheme (for the flowers, entourage outfits and decoration).  She is to choose an appropriate venue, and check that the date you set is available with the venue. Most venues have their own private chapels (which is very convenient as the guests do not have to drive from the church to the reception).   Check with the minister/pastor/priest as to his availability on the set date. Discuss whether you will have any hymns and whether you’ll need the organists there.  Alternately if you are not using an organist you will need someone to organize the music to be played as you walk down the aisle and on walking out again, as well as for any songs or special solos to be sung.    The bride is to choose her gown and advises the bride’s maids and flower girls on theirs. Compile a gift list and it will also be up to you to send out the thank you notes.  

Groom :  Pays any church fees, makes the honeymoon arrangements and pays for the honeymoon.

Bride’s father : Drives the bride to the church and gives her away.  Traditionally it is required that he receives the guests at the reception.  Usually the bride’s father toasts the couple, but this can be done by anyone well known to the couple.

Bride’s mother:  Organizes the catering and flowers as well as the wedding cake.

Maid of Honour :  Helps the bride to dress as well as ensures that the dress and veil are always in place during the service as well as the photo session.  Usually it’s the maid of honour’s job to organize a kitchen tea party before the wedding.  Years ago it was also expected of her to send pieces of the wedding cake to absent guests and also to look after the wedding gifts until the couple return from honeymoon.

Best Man :  Usually organizes a stag or bachelor’s party for the groom. This is always best organized at least a few days before the wedding day and not on the night before … no one needs a hangover on their wedding day.  The best man’s other important function is to ensure that the groom gets to the church on time!  Hand the rings to the groom when called for during the ceremony. He reads any messages (telegrams or e-mail) for the couple at the reception.  He is also required to propose a toast for the bride’s maids.

Ushers :  Although not too common these days, their jobs usually in larger wedding parties were to see the guests to their seats both at the church and reception.

Master of Ceremonies:  Usually picked from someone within the family who is well acquainted with the couple, who is well assured and can take control.  He is required to introduce the couple as they enter the reception, and to keep the guests informed of any procedures or arrangements.  Someone with a good sense of humour is best for this position as he will keep the wedding on a light note and keep the guests entertained.  There are also individuals who hire themselves as master of ceremonies should you have no other person to stand in as one.

FINANCES – WHO PAYS FOR WHAT?

Years ago it was automatically expected that the father of the bride would pay most of the wedding expenses.  Nowadays both families tend to share the expenses, with the couple chipping in too.

As basic guide though we have listed a general run down of who pays for what…

Bride’s Parents: Invitations, photographs, reception, wedding cake and gown, going away outfit and trousseau.   Transport for the bride and retinue to the church  and home again, flowers for the church, and reception.  The organist (if required) and music at the reception is also covered by the bride’s parents.  Expenses mount quickly to set a budget and stick to it

Bride:  Gifts for bridesmaids and one for the groom.

Bridegroom:  Wedding rings, gifts and bouquets for the bride and bridesmaid, church fees and of course for the honeymoon.

Bridesmaids: Usually pay for their own dresses, but can also be covered for by the bride’s parents.